Ride on the Quad bike - Romantic or traumatic?

                                       

"zum zum zzzuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmm" I accelerated our quad bike like a toddler, armed with the knowledge that the engine is turned off.

"They are toy-like. I am having super fun" I declared to my husband who indulged himself in doing some paper work.

"what are you scribbling over there?" I try to sneak over his shoulder but he shuns me not before I chance a glance on the consent form.

"This stuff isn't dangerous?  or IS IT?" I sound carefully careless, as I buckle my golden yellow helmet.

"Not at all. Its far safer than your favourite Under-sea-walk" he replies acidly. He is upbeat with this quad thing as if he is bitten by the so called radioactive-spider.

"Causalities were reported indeed. Toppled bikes, you know, falls and all" Rohith, our co-honeymooner added in quiet an offhand manner.

"But we have guides accompanying us. I suppose nothing happens to us" his wife shruti quickly reassured me.

we took a trial round. My hub carefully navigates me through the mud path which is deliberately strewn with rocks and swamps. I cling to him tightly thinking "This might look romantic but honestly it's not-to-get-traumatic".

The gates were about to open. We were about to explore the wild. The beast-of-a-bike which was softly purring under us sprang a roar (as he accelerated). I squeezed my eyes shut to say a quick prayer when I heard shruti saying "You trusted your life with him...trust him with the bike too. Just enjoy the ride". Rohith and shruthi zoomed past us on their bike starring Dhoom4.

The forest unveiled for us. A bunch of wild piglets welcomed us. I tumbled with laughter only to gasp within seconds at an ostrich crossing paths with us. The guide warned us not to mess with it as they spotted her nesting some lucky eggs. We  took a turn and stood face-to-ass with a pack of zebras.

"Hey Marty, wherez Alex and Gloria?" I called out to the Madagascarian zebra which is different from the rest cos of its black stripes on a white mane as opposed to the general white stripes on the black.

"Go for a walk with the big cats. 600 MSUD per head. You can find Alex, Aaslan simba zuba wotever" the guide winked at me. 

we reached a clearing in the middle of the forest where the bikes were halted for a while and we pounced on a herd of deers. They gave us the 'Paparazi-are-here-again' look. They posed unflinchingly to the infinite clicks, their pupils in 'auto-acclimatization-to-the-camera-flashes' mode.

 "There is no reason to worry. This is sheer fun" I said to myself as I remounted the little beast which purred maliciously.  

Hub, bitten by the radioactive spider evolved in to a super hero by now. Cocksure of my mellow moods he headed for those killer-mid-air-summersaults.

  He guffawed as he squirted through a muddy puddle. I'm Pissed off with his antics but I hold on. He takes a sharp cut here and there giving me a neck-breaking-spine-bending ride.

"slow down chinnu...you are giving me a heart ache" I pleaded but the gush of air deafened him. He is flying while my heart is sinking.

 "oops...chinnu, my zip is giving away" I let out a panicked shriek. (I wore a chudidaar which needs to be zipped up in the front.)

"Big deal! you can always borrow my shirt" he grinned like the ever-ready-to-strip-Khan.  I can't help but to smile at the livewire I got married to. I hug him even tighter, this time little more romantic than dramatic.

The rest of this mad roller coaster ride had bum hitting bumps, lump giving lows and heartening highs but we took them all with the same gut bursting laughter.

Guardian angel

                                          
                                             Guardian angel

He opened his eyes to another morning, though it is very hard to say which part of the day it is, there at the dungeons. He tried to stretch himself and learnt there isn't room for it. He found her lying beside him barely covered. He could see her shoulders slouching and spine curving as she doubled up in to a ball.  Pink as a flower, lithe as a feather and Beautiful like no other. 

wait a sec. Is she a little less pink today? God what is it with her!

He loves her so much that he guards her with his own life and her affection is so intense that her heart bleeds for him. She is his angel and he is her guardian angel.

Get the hell outta here.

He dashes in to the pool of waters which were warm and welcoming thankfully. He kicks an arm and a leg, a foot and a peg. He explores for the dungeons, passages, by lanes, for a secret exit without any luck. On any other day he would have enjoyed the skinny dip but today he feels evasive.

Did I out grow the pool? May be...but I just need to find the way out of this Goddamn rubbish place. There is no way I'm turning back today without my key to freedom.

He throws a butterfly stroke, a dolphin kick, a breast stroke and back stroke until he is exhausted to the point that all he could do is dog paddle. He reaches a recess where he eaves drops a distant conversation between 2 men and a women.

"we have to make a choice before it's too late" a man says with a voice that exudes caution and gives one a chill down their spine.

"Alright. If it has to be done, let it be the girl. DONT HARM THE BOY" another male responds with a kind of finality.

"No. No. We can't do this. We just C.A.N.T.......There has to be some other way" the woman wails.

I recognize the woman's voice instantly.

MOM. Is everything ok?

"I am afraid there are ways but....they could prove far fatal" said the cold voice laced with patience. "It's better that you sacrifice one of them."

"We have been through this for the umpteenth time. Dint we?" the second male made no effort to hide his impatience. Her cries muffle with a thick effort.

"Let's go ahead before she has a change of mind" the second man urges and the men busy themselves in carrying out the task. 

He reels under the weight of this discovery. It takes a couple of seconds before he could place the missing pieces together.

They are going to kill her. I will never let them touch my prodigal sister as long as I am alive.

His reflexes kick in as the same adrenaline firing his mother's blood fuels him. He races faster than his racing heart. He places himself between his sister, who is in a blissful siesta and the advancing needle loaded with death.

The needle retraced. He could not see who or how it is navigated but the needle never charged at him. It waits till he side steps to reach and strike his sister. It snakes a way around him to get her. But he is quicker and smarter for that.

"your son is not making things easier for us" he hears the distant male voice as he focuses. "too bad if we have to see them both dead" the voice declared. Surprisingly It lacked the malice  that is intended.

"My god! What am I to do? errr.... sacrifice him...and..and...save the girl child " the other male doles out distastefully. He sounds choked with emotion.

"Take my advice. It is a lot easier to save the girl than the boy" Mr. Cool killer soothes.

" How is that so doctor? The girl is only 2kgs and the boy is 3.2 kgs....besides he is THE BOY" the other male cries out aloud.

"Sir! As I mentioned earlier your twins are effected by twin-to-twin-transfusion syndrome. This is something like a blood donation we witness elsewhere. The  cliché is it takes place inside the womb. The donor, that is your baby girl, is donating her blood to the recipient, that is your baby boy. So, she appears weak and pale. All that she needs is a transfusion. Though the boy appears well grown and healthy he might die of heart failure. Look at this ultrasound image. His heart is huge for his age. Besides the survival of female foetuses is much better than males in our survey"  says the doctor. "The decision is all yours".

Am I a blood sucking vampire? Is that why my twin sis is growing pale time and again? And wot the bloody hell is this twin-to-twin-transfusion thingy?

Before he could reel out of his thoughts he saw the needle turning to face him. He is totally blown out of his feet. He could not make sense out of it. His killers are actually shedding tears to kill him? WHOA!!! They really don't want to do this?

"I am going to inject this potassium chloride in his cord. It will be a painless death" the euthanasic doc says to ease the anxious parents.

Yes doc! My heart is huge enough to die for the undying love I have for my sister.

He braced himself for the inevitable. He experiences a sudden tug and the pool of waters drain, sucking him in to nothingness.

"oops...that was unexpected. Inadvertent rupture of membranes" the doc cries out aloud. "Nurse! Please inform the paediatrician that an emergency preterm delivery of a twin pregnancy is accelerating".

"Right away sir"....thud thud thud thud.... the nurse takes to her heels.

He gets crushed between the walls of the cave for hours which seem infinite. He is bruised, confused and exhausted.

This must be the real HELL. what am I being punished for? 

He could not open his eyes. The light stings. He could not breathe. The air burns. It's damn cold out here but he could hardly shiver. He cried. He cried out aloud. He cried for his mother and she answered. She takes him in to her arms and gives him a hug. He holds on to her, warm and comfortable, like a baby in the pouch of a kangaroo. His sister arrives and joins him. Her cry is delightfully melodious. Life was never better.

"Thank you for saving my children doctor" his mother says overflowing with gratitude.

"Yeah. We had to deliver them both prematurely due to sudden rupture of membranes. It's risky but let's hope we get lucky. It is mandatory that we shift them to NICU and nurse them" the doctor replies.

"I trust you doctor" his mother confides.

 p.s: Twin to twin transfusion syndrome occurs in monozygous twins (similar twins) where the sex of both the fetuses should be same. But the twins here are a boy and a girl. Kindly ignore this scientific fact for the sake of the plot. Thank you.

Aura of love

                                     

"Irugu dishti porugu dishti" My mother indulged herself in the act of cleansing my auras which were polluted by the so called evil eyes. I looked at her through groggy eyes which were no better than my desktop processing a forced shutdown. A pumpkin cradled in her pudgy hands with a cake of camphor icing it.  Little does the poor pumpkin know that it is going to have a crash landing at the end of its giant wheel ride.

It is hard to ignore the tongue of flames licking the camphor even with my eyes closed. Flickering and dancing images of what looked remotely like a five headed snake materialized on my retina. I cursed my entoptic visualisation.

"Under suitable conditions light falling on the eye may render visible certain objects within the eye itself. These perceptions are called entoptical. They are different from optical illusions and visual hallucinations as the observer cannot share a direct and specific view of the phenomenon with others." 

I choose not to share my visions with my mom cos I am drop dead tired for picking up one of those science vs religion wars tonight. She would let me win the war but nevertheless coax me (well! coax might be an understatement .....beg, threaten or emotionalize me to the point I could no longer resist) to pay a visit to the anthill and offer some eggs and milk to Nagraj. So I pressed my upper lip tightly against the lower in an effort not to yawn...you see my mum is a pioneer in 'Aavaliste pegulu lekkapette' batch (ability to count the intestines through a wide open mouth- A Telugu metaphor to describe extreme intelligence.)

"mee office valla dishti, Face book dishti" she ended her long list of possible evil eyes. I stepped over the turmeric smeared threshold with a sooted face to make an exit.

"I am not yet done" she blazed angrily. She took a fist full of salt and repeated the whole act of spinning it around my head. On any other day I would have enjoyed this.  Not that I believe in it but I consider it her way of displaying her affection. But today I am too tired for it. She is already through a round of red chillies, slaked lime water, lemons, a broom and a sickle. what not!

"Stop this charade mom. Let me go to bed. It is dumb of us to believe these evil eyes in the days of I-pads and I-fones" I lose my temper.

"There is perhaps a scientific basis to this which is not yet in the lime light" dad intervenes. I roll my eyes and say "Don't you kid me dad. If you need any favour from mom try praising her culinary skills"

Dad gives me a saintly smile and says "chill. Let's call it a day. There is always a tomorrow".  I finally make it to my cosy bed and have one of those roof rattling snorty sleeps. I wake up to a brighter sunrise and fix myself a cup of green tea.

Dad pushes a Russian magazine towards me as I munch on my cornflakes. The title reads "kirlian photography".

I never realized he is up for a duel without wands and arrows but armed with the thing that can beat me for sure. Evidence. "wotz dis?" I ask genuinely puzzled. "Read it" he says with his eyes smiling the same saintly smile.

Kirlian photography is a technique for creating contact print photographs using high voltage. 

 "You mean a photo without a camera or a lens?" I wondered aloud. Dad nodded his approval.

Kirlian believed that images created by Kirlian photography might depict a conjectural energy field, or aura, to surround living things. These images showed a life force or energy field that reflected the physical and emotional states of their living subjects. They thought these images could be used to diagnose illnesses.

"Whoa! so they believed this aura thing. Really? U me and Mom. All of us have a little halo of a moon behind our heads...like in those paintings and pictures of gods and goddesses?"

"If a key can have a aura, a leaf can have it then why not her highness have it?" he winked like Dumbledore. I had an urge to read on.

Results of scientific experiments published in 1976 involving Kirlian photography of living tissue (human finger tips) showed that most of the variations in corona discharges can be accounted for  the moisture content on the surface of the living tissue.

"But how does one clean it?" I fired my next question.

"salt is a hygroscopic. Remember? It pulls out moisture from your aura by osmosis and the impurities along with it" he concludes to a floored me.

"That's totally fundoo. I never knew there is science behind these petty rituals" I could hardly conceal my amazement. "I thought mom's head is hollow...now I learnt to spell it right...It's a halo".

"so next time when you fight with your mom, just remember that she lets you win bcos she loves to see you win. Anything is fair in Love and war...especially if the war is with the one you love" he adds and I swear I could see his halo glowing extra bright as he exudes gyaan (knowledge).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirlian_photography

Baby einstein

                                                

"Hey baby wotz up?" I asked my 4 year old nephew who was pensive in thought. We were travelling to banglore from vizag and he loathed to part with the beach.

"No disturb. I yam vor-king " he tapped his index finger against his temple.

"ooooo. So wotz the plan genius? I coaxed him.

" I yam plane-ing to build a beach in Banga-luru" he disclosed his brainwave.

"whoa!! Master stroke. How do u intend to do it?" I asked enthusiastically. He winked at me as if he were a baby einstein and I were his only pupil. He pulled out a purse string bag loaded with silvery sand and doled out "I wud steal sand from all countries and build a beach in banga-luru".

I never saw this coming. So I tumbled with belly bursting laughter.  When I recovered from that spell of gelastic seizures, I said "No doubt u wud beat Ratanji Tata and Vijay Maalya sum day but honey wot about vater?" I asked him feigning innocence.

Just then my S-I-L bought some water from the vendor and my brother smirked "Look! His mother started saving water for him. Thats wot I call Mothers love". He exuded honey coated sarcasm.

The baby einstein however dismissed my brother with a silly flick of his hand and said "I wud find a way to make lats aaf voter in my secret lab" he whispered. Amazed at his prowess I looked at my brother whose chest was jutting out with fatherly pride.

"Does he know the chemistry of H2o?" I just couldn't believe my own eyes and ears. I learnt the chemical formula when I was in my secondary high school and here is my nephew, a kindergartener talking some fine chemistry.

"May be he does...may be not" my brother plays diplomatic.

"He is in to Dexter's laboratory these days" my S-I-L  added that last straw which sent us all in to another fit of laughter. Sometimes a stone thrown in the dark hits the target BANG ON!