Something fishy

                                                          

I'm head over heels in love with this guy Swas, for the past 3 yrs. There is something fishy about this guy.  I delude that I know him perfectly well. yet he surprises me each new day with something more. He owns half a dozen cars and loves to give me a ride in his favorite red BMW. He is handsome, witty and can charm any woman with his mesmerizing smile and coax her to give what he wants. Yet I'm the only woman in his life apart from his mother and grandmother. But let me warn you ladies, he isn't as naïve as his innocent face claims. At times he breaks in to one of those eye narrowing, nose wrinkling cat-shire-smiles when a particularly naughty thought brain wires him.

I'm sure you would love to know what I meant by  'Naughty'. No! It's not how we planned to hoodwink everybody at home to go biking  on the beach road.  It's not how he stole kisses and hugs from me. It's not how he got to sleep with me. It is about how he made my mother  erupt in to pearls of laughter and kiss him until his face blushed deep red.

The other day my mother was gobbling on a tangy fish curry and spicy chicken wings when swas parked his BMW on our dining table and asked "wot are you eating granny?"

"I'm eating fish kanna. Do you want some?" my mother dutifully replied. Swas being the only veggie in our clan, puckered his nose and said "Donth eat it"

A Dazzled mom asked "why?"

Swas patiently replied "Hen are for laying eggs. Not eating".

"what?" exclaimed my mom totally taken aback.

"And Fisses are fore swimming in da vater" he continued as if he was never interrupted. He picked a banana from the fruit basket and added knowledgeably "fruits are fore eating".

My mother did a double back and then broke in to pearls of laughter. she kissed him until he ran for his life screaming "Momie! Save me. Granny is doing notty things to me".

That day I rushed to a nearby pet store to buy him a fish bowl and a gold fish.  He loved to spend hours by the side of his fish bowl, pouting his lips and imitating his "Goldie".  Each day he would wake up eagerly to feed the fish and watch him chomp those tiny red and green colored balls in a gulp. He learnt how to care for others and the joy of serving the ones who depended on him. But when it is time to leave Goldie and go to school he would throw a nasty tantrum and his mother gives me a Why-the-hell-did-you-buy-this-fish? look. I would ease my guilt with a "What are aunts for? if not to cuddle their 3 yr old nephews!"

One day his school teacher called up his mom to complain that he doesn’t do what he was asked to.  He knows every rhyme by heart, but doesn’t sing with his peers. He says "No disturb" when the teacher interrupts his play and asks him to recite alphabets or numbers. He hardly sits in his chair when the rest of the class is in a post-lunch-nap.  He sings Jana gana mana atop of his voice while everyone is  in a deep slumber.  The list just goes on and on.

His drawing teacher has come up with this particular incident. She handed out a drawing sheet with a sturdy little fish sketched on it and asked the class to color it.  Swas corrected his neighbor Megha who picked the wrong crayon and gave her a 'This-is-how-you-are-supposed-to-do-it' demo. But he never touched his own drawing sheet. In fact he simply pouted his lips and talked to his sheet in a gibberish-fish-language. when the teacher  asked him why he failed to crayon his fish, he gave her what I said you 'A-eye-puckering, nose-wrinkling, cat-shire-smile' and said "How can I color it miss? The fiss is swimming and I can't catch it"

Amazed, the teacher said "Either he is a jerk or he is too intelligent for his age". I broke in to a fit of laughter and said to my sulking sister-in-law that if swas were a citizen of united states of America, he would have been  celebrated for his "lateral thinking". He would have hit the news papers and the T.V screens but alas he is not so appreciated here, right in his home and by his mom. This made her chill and somewhat smile. The day went down in the odyssey of his terrible twos and horrible threes but each day, he comes up with something new.

Now folks, isn't there something fishy about this guy?