copy cats

                                                        Copy cats

When someone says "I can read your face" just don’t believe them. The so called face reading  may not always pay well. I would rather say 'Never judge a person for his face". For instance, when I fold my hands and say namaste to one of those gollu-mollu aunties, the first thing they ask me is "which grade you are in baby?". How could I tell them I'm finished with my post graduation and working as an assistant professor? Do you think they'll believe me? Nah! I'm fit enough to model any age defying cream on the desk. "Naa vayasunasalu teliya nivvadu naa charmam….santoor…santoor" (Roughly translated- My skin never shows up my age) That’s why I say "Don’t get fooled by facies".

Still don’t believe me? okay! Let me tell you how my students hoodwinked me the other day while invigilating them for their board exams. I was offered a wooden chair, a bunch of question papers and a hall-full-students. After finishing the formalities I have nothing better to do. So I sat there sitting idle, watching all the 'facies' and mastering the art of face reading.

I noticed Hermoinee-ish facies scribbling on their papers with great fervor.  A stalk of color pencils and sketches crammed their desks. I looked with utter bemusement at those eager beavers who innovatively sketched the answers of social and preventive medicine as if it were a master piece of Da Vinci. I mean, how can one use all those colors to answer questions like " types of mosquitoes and the measures to eradicate them". That’s why I labeled them as "innovative."

I noticed mad hatters shaking their legs under the bench nervously as if they are at the verge of an earth shattering  quake. They did display every sort of tic on the books. Every  once in a while they'll look at me and hastily look away when I catch their eye. I always found them scratching their heads, beards and I can't say what!

 I noticed those just-out-of-bed faces, with pillow creases, tussled hair ,blearily eyes and blotches of tooth paste on their crumpled shirts.' Poor guys! I guess they had a night out' I thought to myself. No sooner than the exam began, they started yawning contagiously until they slumped their groggy heads on their desks. I had to put in some super-human-effort to keep my eyes open. 

Thankfully the peon served me a plate of onion samosas and a hot cup of tea to keep me awake. It was irksome to gobble them as the aroma deliciously tantalized the students. So I took one of those' I-will-not-see-you. you-don’t-see-me-either' breaks while chomping on them. <crunch> <crunch> <crunch>. My granny always uses this maxim which is apt for now "pilli kallu moosuku paalu tagi, nannu evvaru chudatam ledu anukuntundanta" ( A cat drinks milk with closed eyes thinking that no one is watching it)

As if to ally my guilt for distracting and disturbing the students with my crunchy mastication, my colleague's mobile ringed in full volume "Dhin ka chi ka, dhin ka chi ka, dhin ka chi ka, dhin ka chi ka rey eee ey". He hurried out of the exam hall with the cell glued to his ear. The last benchers face broke in to an ear to ear grin. A cacophony of the ventriloquists forced me out of my chair and take short strolls between the rows of students.  It is now that I had the opportunity to have a closer look at the 'real drama'.

The hermoinee-ish artists were indeed more talented than they were credited for. All that they did is write the same sentence thrice. Once in ink, one with a pencil and then with a eye-catchy sketch.

well! what can I tell you about the scratchers!!! They apparently had a hidden treasure in their under pants awaiting to be dug out. Tiny tit-bits rocketed all over the place right under my nose and I'm not even aware of them until I accidentally uncovered this index saying  Bio-statistics in back pocket, WHO in right shoe(world health organisation), Bio-hazards in left shoe, Infectious diseases in underwear. It took a great deal of effort to kill that tumultuous roar of laughter in the pit of my stomach.

Ah! The nocturnal pussies! <yawn> <yawn> <yawn>. I erroneously thought they were ready to throw the buck and submit a white-n-white paper. But the fact is they took copying to an all together higher level.  I was jaw dropped to learn that they got a micro phone installed in the helix of their external ear in such a way that it isn't visible to the naked eye. One needs a otoscope to locate it, fix it or remove it. A hi-tech-copy-mafia is operational in this swindle, charging 10k per paper.  All that u have to do is pay the bugs, get the ear fixed, throw the question paper out of the window and wait for the mafia to read out the answers to the microphone in your ear through a cell phone. PHEW! That’s quiet TECHIE! At least they used their grey's in one way or the other.

After all the Hermoinee's aren't  really brainy and all the Ron weasley's aren't really dumb. So, when somebody claims that they mastered the art of face reading, be smart enough to smile politely and reply "Sir, you might be good at reading their face but they might be better at writing what they want you to read on their face".